笑一笑，助消化！

<div style="text-align: center;"><font style="color: DarkOrange; font-family: Verdana; font-weight: bold;" size="5">笑一笑，助消化！</font><br><font style="font-family: Verdana; color: rgb(68, 85, 166);" size="4"><br>（ 網路文章）</font><br><br><br><br style="font-family: Verdana;"></div><font style="color: rgb(68, 85, 166);" size="4"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-weight: bold;">報警</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">機車上是一對情侶 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">只聽見男生略轉頭說了一句︰抱緊！ </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">只見女生飛快的拿出手機按了號碼,&nbsp;然後遞給男生</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">男生一臉莫名其妙：幹嘛？ </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">你不是叫我「報警」嗎？ </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">&nbsp; </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-weight: bold;">半世情 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">台南有家店名叫「半世情」。</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">某晚獨自前往小酌，朋友撥行動進來問你在哪裡？</span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">作啥？</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">我答在半世情(辦 事情&nbsp;)。 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">朋友說：那不好意思等你辦完再跟我聯絡！隨即掛了電話</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-weight: bold;">天 天來 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">有一個郵差拿著一封掛號信到診所去投遞。</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">他到門口後大喊：「掛號！掛號！」</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">這時只聽見護士小姐說：「請問你叫什麼名字？有沒有來過。」</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">他回答說：「我叫郵差，我天天來！」 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">&nbsp; </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-weight: bold;">情婦</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">一對夫婦正在餐廳用餐，忽然一位妖嬌美女走上前來&nbsp;和先生親熱的打招呼。<br>美女離開後，太太問：「那女 人是誰？」</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">「如果妳非知道不可的話？」丈夫答：「她是我的情婦。」</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">「妳的情婦？」太太怒道：「太過份了，我們離婚！」</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">「妳確定要放棄現有的豪宅、佣人、賓士車、珠寶、貂皮大衣，還有 夏威夷豪華大別墅嗎？」丈夫問。 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">太太沒答腔，兩人繼續默默吃飯。 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">過了很久，太太終於用手碰碰丈夫。 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">「那邊那個人不是王總嗎？」太太問：「他身邊那個女人是誰？」</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">「是他的情婦。」丈夫答。</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">「喔？」太太若無其事地邊喝咖啡邊說道：「我們的漂亮多了！」 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-weight: bold;">公 豬</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">一個專養母豬的豬場，為了維持豬場內豬隻的數量，在母豬群中放養 了一隻公的豬。 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">但是時間久了，這隻公豬也老了，開始有點力不從心，於是牧場的主 人又買了一隻新的公豬來擔任維持豬隻數量的工作。 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">至於那隻老公豬，由於過去數年來，牠沒有功勞也有苦勞，所以主人 還是繼續放牠在母豬群裡逍遙。</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">有一天，主人去巡視豬場，看見老公豬氣喘噓噓地趴在地上。</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">豬場主人走近說：你年紀大了就收斂一點，不要作這麼多。</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">老公豬一臉無辜的說：你難道不能告訴那隻新來的，我不是母豬！ </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">&nbsp; </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-weight: bold;">千山萬水不辭辛苦 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">有一個陷入熱戀的男孩&nbsp;...為 他的心上人寫了一封情書&nbsp;....</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">『我的愛人....&nbsp;即 使要我穿山越嶺.....&nbsp;翻遍千山萬水到妳身旁...我 都不辭勞苦&nbsp;...不論天打雷劈...&nbsp;也 要和你在一起....直到世界末日...』 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">&nbsp;</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">但&nbsp;...&nbsp;在情書的最末一行&nbsp;......&nbsp;他又附了一行字.. </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">&nbsp; </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">P.S.&nbsp;如果星期六沒有下雨的話....&nbsp;我就去接妳下班..... &nbsp; </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">&nbsp; </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-weight: bold;">減 肥門診 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">話說&nbsp;,某 甲去看減肥門診 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">&nbsp; </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">醫師便開了&nbsp;2顆藥丸給他服用 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">醫師&nbsp;:"把 它吃下後你會睡7&nbsp;天,醒來後你就變瘦了&nbsp;"</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">於是回家後甲就照著做 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">服用後果然很快進入睡眠狀態 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">甲夢見自己在一個美麗的海邊，到處是穿比其尼的美女在沙灘奔跑笑 著鬧著，甲如到了天堂快樂得不得了，就這樣Happy&nbsp;地過7天 醒來後果然變瘦了&nbsp;!</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">甲很滿意好慷道相報&nbsp;告 訴了他朋友→&nbsp;乙 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">&nbsp; </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">乙也想一試，去找那位&nbsp;醫師</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">醫師也同樣開了&nbsp;2顆 藥丸給乙服用 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">乙服用後就開始昏昏欲睡，也很快就睡著了，在夢中乙先來到可怕的 叢林，到處獅子老虎，乙被生猛野獸追趕拼命地跑逃命，攀山跨海後又來到酷熱的沙漠,日子過得實在艱 熬&nbsp;，當他越過高山時，前方遠處就是那美麗的海灘了</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">終於到了，開心地想&nbsp;一 切辛苦都值得，於是他開心地奔向海邊，</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">當他快接近那海灘時，藥效已過，乙也醒了過來，啥也沒玩到!不過乙也變瘦了 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">乙氣呼呼地去找醫師理論理論 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">醫師:"&nbsp;你 不就也變瘦了嗎?"</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">乙:"對 呀&nbsp;..瘦是瘦了呀，可是我怎麼跟我朋友夢中待遇有天壤之別&nbsp;??"</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">醫師&nbsp;:"拜 託&nbsp;!你朋友是自費，你是用健保卡的&nbsp;!" </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">&nbsp; </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-weight: bold;">電視與手機</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">太太是電視，情人是手機， </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">在家看電視，出門帶手機， </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">破產賣電視，發財換手機， </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">偶而看電視，整天玩手機， </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">電視終身不收費， </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">手機欠費就停機..... </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-weight: bold;">媽....妳內向嫻淑 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">由於停車不便，小孩上才藝課都由我騎機車接送。</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">一日，接他們下課時，&nbsp;突 然聽到坐在後座的兒子說：&nbsp; </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">「媽，妳內向嫻淑。」 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">喔！從來沒有聽過就讀四年級的兒子這麼稱讚過我，&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">&nbsp;一陣溫暖、甜蜜湧上心頭！</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">想再聽一次，於是，我問&nbsp;： 「兒子，你說什麼？說大聲點！」&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">他說：「媽，妳逆向行駛。」 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">&nbsp; </span><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">&nbsp; </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-weight: bold;">妳愛嫁誰就嫁誰 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">有位女孩對爸爸說,&nbsp;她 喜歡對面的帥哥,結果她爸爸小聲的對她說,「那 是你同父異母的哥哥,&nbsp;你們只能做做普通的朋友.&nbsp;」</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">幾個月後&nbsp;,女 孩又對爸爸說&nbsp;,喜歡上了巷口那家的帥哥.....</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">她爸爸又對她說,「那 是你另一個同父異母的哥哥&nbsp;,你們也只能做做普通的朋友&nbsp;,千 萬別對妳媽說&nbsp;.」</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">可是女孩還是哭著對媽媽說了,&nbsp;她媽媽安慰她說：「妳愛嫁誰就嫁誰,&nbsp;妳根本就不 是妳爸爸的女兒.&nbsp;」<br><br><br><br style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></font>